The New Chapter of a Mother

Nothing can truly prepare you for becoming a mum. You can read all the books, have experience with friends' or family members' babies, or, like me with my first, go into it blindly—with no knowledge, no information, and extremely naive. However, until that moment when your baby is placed in your arms and you start your next chapter in life, there is nothing else like it.

The whirlwind those first few months bring. The hurdles each stage throws at you. Just when you think you have got it all together—boom! Sleep regression, sickness, a new milestone. However, through it all, you feel a love you never knew you could have—a love that fills you up from the inside and radiates out. No matter how difficult the day (or night) has been, when you put them to bed and look at their tiny little hands, you realise—you got through it together. And tomorrow is a new day.

We spend so much time thinking about our baby—their growth and development, their happiness and well-being. But how often do we stop and think about ourselves? This is a new chapter we are starting. We have not only birthed a baby, but in doing so, we have birthed ourselves into motherhood. A new version of ourselves. A strong, determined, fierce woman—even if we don’t feel like it all the time. That is what you are.

It has taken me a long time to realise just how truly transformational this journey has been. And this transformation does not stop when you first become a mother. Each child creates a new version of you. This can be both a blessing and a loss. I don’t want this to be all doom and gloom, but an acknowledgment that it is okay to feel sad. To feel that you have lost something. After the birth of my first son, I felt I had lost some of that freedom and flexibility—the ability to be selfish and spontaneous. But in that loss, I gained so much more. I gained strength and courage to speak up for what I felt was best for my family. I gained an amazing baby who showed me how to be truly selfless and taught me so much I never knew i needed to learn.

Throughout my journey, he has taught me to heal inner parts of my childhood and to come face to face with parts of myself I do not particularly like—to change and become a better version of me. When I was pregnant with my second son, I was worried that I would never be able to love him the way I loved my first. I remember crying, feeling so guilty that this poor baby would come into the world and always be second best—how could I possibly love anyone as much as I loved my first? But then he arrived, and within that first look at him, I knew that thought was ridiculous. I loved him with 100% of my heart, just as I loved my first son with 100% of my heart. Love is not a limited amount that you have to split up and divide—it is an endless amount that grows and grows for infinity.

With my second son, I felt that I had a new shift in identity yet again. I had to learn to share my time and develop a new kind of patience. Yet, he taught me to slow down and enjoy the moment, to see the beauty in the little things. Every day, we are learning and growing together.

Through my work, I want to be there for other women as they embark on this whirlwind journey into the new phase of life. To be there for the hard times—to hold them if they need to cry, to celebrate those little or big wins. Through my honesty, I hope they can find some comfort in knowing they are not alone, that we all find it tough, even if on the outside we don’t show it.

And my overall message? You are enough. If today all you can do is sit and hold your baby or toddler, then that is enough.