The Parenting Tips No One Tells You (But Everyone Needs to Hear)

There are moments in motherhood that remind me exactly why I became a baby massage instructor. This week's session was one of those moments. While we gathered for baby massage, it was the honest conversation we shared that became the real gift of the day.

The Emotional Truth Bombs We All Need

Sometimes the best parenting wisdom doesn't come from books or experts. It comes from other parents in the trenches with you, brave enough to speak the truth out loud. This week, our group shared some emotional gems that I had to pass along.

1. Take Your Time

There's no race, no finish line, no prize for getting there first (wherever "there" even is). Your baby will sleep through the night when they're ready. They'll crawl when they're ready. They'll wean when the time is right for both of you.

The timeline you see on social media, the one your mother-in-law remembers (probably incorrectly), the one your friend's baby is following - none of that matters. Your journey is your own.

2. Stop Comparing

I know this is so hard when Instagram exists and everyone seems to have it more together than you do. But here's the secret: they don't. Behind every perfectly curated photo is a mother who is also tired, also worried she's doing it wrong, also comparing herself to someone else.

Your baby, your family, your journey is uniquely yours. There is no other baby exactly like yours, no other family exactly like yours. Stop measuring yourself against against a timeline that was never meant for you in the first place.

3. Routine is Personal

Whether you're team schedule or team go-with-the-flow, if it works for you, your baby, and your family, then it's the right approach. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here.

Some babies thrive on predictability. Some babies need flexibility. Some parents need structure to feel grounded. Some parents feel suffocated by too many rules. And all of that? All of that is completely okay.

You don't need permission to do what works for your family, but if you need to hear it: I give you permission. Do what works. Ignore what doesn't. Trust yourself.

The Four Words That Change Everything

Throughout all these conversations, one phrase came up like a gentle mantra: that even parenting my bigger children

"This will pass."

The sleepless nights? They will pass.

The constant feeding? It will pass.

The crying you can't seem to soothe? It will pass.

The phase where they only want you and no one else will do? It will pass.

But here's the thing those four words also mean: the tiny fingers wrapped around yours will grow. The weight of them sleeping on your chest will become a memory. The way they fit perfectly in your arms will change. Those sweet baby sounds will turn into words, then sentences, then full conversations.

So yes, this will pass. The hard parts and the beautiful parts. The exhausting moments and the ones that make your heart feel too big for your chest. All of it passes, which makes all of it precious.

The Permission You're Waiting For

Can I be really honest with you? It's okay not to enjoy every single aspect of motherhood. It really, truly is.

You don't have to love the sleepless nights. You don't have to treasure every nappy change. You don't have to feel grateful for the days when you're covered in more bodily fluids than you thought possible. You can find parts of this hard, frustrating, overwhelming, or downright terrible - and still be a good mother.

In fact, you can feel all of that and still love your baby fiercely. The two things can coexist.

Here's something I would like to remind myself and every parent reading this: You are learning to be a mum to YOUR baby. Even if this is your second or third child, this is still the first time you've been a mum to THIS particular baby. And guess what? It's their first time being in the world too.

You're both figuring it out together, day by day, sometimes minute by minute. You're both learning each other - their cries, your responses, their needs, your instincts. It's a dance you're choreographing together, and there's no instruction manual because this dance has never been danced before.

You're doing it for the first time. They're doing it for the first time. And somehow, beautifully, messily, imperfectly - you're doing it together.

Why These Conversations Matter So Much

These real, raw, honest conversations? This is exactly why I trained as a baby massage instructor. Yes, the massage techniques are wonderful and beneficial for babies. But this? This connection and support between mothers? This is everything.

When we create spaces where we can be vulnerable, where we can admit we're struggling, where we can say "I don't love this part" without judgment - that's where the real magic happens. That's where healing begins. That's where we realise we're not alone, we're not failing, and we're not the only ones who find this hard.

There's something powerful about sitting in a circle with other mothers and hearing your own secret thoughts spoken aloud by someone else. Suddenly you realise: Oh, I'm not broken. I'm not doing it wrong. I'm just human. And so is she. And so are we all.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Motherhood can feel isolating, especially in those early months when you're home with a tiny human who can't exactly hold up their end of a conversation. The days are long, the nights are longer, and sometimes you can go hours without speaking to another adult.

But you don't have to do this alone. Whether it's a baby massage class, a postnatal group, a WhatsApp chat with other parents, or even just one good friend who gets it - finding your people matters.

Your village might look different than you imagined. It might be smaller than you hoped or bigger than you expected. It might include people you've known forever and people you just met. But however it looks, you need it.

The Truth About Motherhood

Here's what I wish someone had told me, and what I want to tell you now:

Motherhood is not what you see on Instagram. It's not perfectly styled nurseries and babies who always sleep peacefully. It's not having it all figured out by six weeks or six months or ever, really.

Motherhood is messy and beautiful and boring and magical, often all in the same hour. It's feeling more love than you knew was possible and more frustration than you thought you could handle. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do and the most extraordinary thing in the world, all at once.

Some days you'll feel like you're nailing it. Other days you'll feel like you're failing at everything. Most days will be somewhere in between - a mixture of small wins and small struggles, moments of joy and moments of just getting through.

And all of that? All of that is normal. All of that is okay. All of that is motherhood.

You're Doing Better Than You Think - And you are enough

I would like to thank the incredible mums on in my infant massage course for their openness and honesty who shared all of the above and reminded me what it is to be a mum.

*What emotional truth about parenting do you wish someone had told you? Share in the comments - your honesty might be exactly what another parent needs to hear today.*

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