What My Children Taught Me About Self Care

As mothers go, I always thought I was good at taking time for myself. With plenty of support and without the demands of a full-time job, I assumed I didn't need to master the art of self-care. But recently due to becoming ill and run down, I've had a revelation that's transformed my understanding of what it means to truly fill my own cup.

In those moments I called "downtime" – watching TV or scrolling social media– I was still mentally juggling the next load of washing, checking emails, or booking after-school activities for the children, that endless list of jobs. My brain never truly stopped. I carried this constant feeling of failure, like I was half-doing everything but excelling at nothing.

My whole life, I searched for that one perfect hobby – that special interest that would become "my thing". I tried it all: reading, cooking, gardening, colouring – you name it, I've probably given it a go. When nothing seemed to stick, I saw it as yet another failure. Another sign that I wasn't good enough at anything.

But then, I became a mum and I started watching my children.

They taught me the most beautiful lesson about joy and creativity. when they play they are doing it purely for the fun and enjoyment. an example o f this is when they draw, they don't worry about the end result and what others think about it. They pick up each colour with enthusiasm, concentrate intensely on their work, and think about their next move – all without judging themselves or worrying about others' opinions. They proudly hold up their creation – a beautiful mess of squiggly colours – and confidently declare it a car, a dog, or a rainbow.

This completely changed my perspective of self-care and personal fulfilment. I realised that the magic isn't in the outcome – it's in the process. It's about the feeling you get whilst doing something, the sense of presence and peace in that moment, and the satisfaction of completing your vision, whatever that might be.

This revelation led me to an even more important truth: as part of my household, I deserve the same love and care that I so readily give to my children. We're often conditioned to think that taking time for ourselves is somehow selfish – especially as mums of young children – but I believe this mindset needs to change. By showing my children that I value and prioritise self-care, I'm helping them develop healthy boundaries and habits for their own lives. They're watching and learning from every choice I make, including how I treat myself.

Being mentally and physically healthy isn't just about us – it's about being the best version of ourselves so we can give the best care possible to our families. These changes don't need to be huge. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference. As of today, I'm making small but meaningful changes to create healthy habits for both myself and my children.

I've treated myself to a beautiful teapot and some fancy loose leaf tea. Each morning, I'll start my day with a mindful cup of tea – a moment to practise gratitude, reflect on how amazing my little family is, and look forward to all that's ahead of us.

I've also learnt to let go of the pressure to find that one perfect hobby. There's a surprising freedom in accepting that I might enjoy different activities at different times. Maybe I won't ever just have "my thing" – and that's ok. I'm committing to continuing practices that nourish my soul: journalling, meditation, and spending time in nature. And of course I'll keep being a "hobby tester" – but now without the pressure of expectations or the need to find that one perfect thing.

True self-care, I've discovered, isn't about perfecting an activity or even sticking to one pursuit. It's about giving yourself permission to explore, to enjoy the moment, and to find peace in the simple act of doing something just because it feels good. Sometimes my biggest lessons come from my smallest teachers.

I'd love to hear from you – how do you fill your cup? What small changes have made a big difference in your self-care journey?