Shifting Family Energy: My Journey of Self - Care and Connection

Over the last few months, I've experienced a profound realisation that might seem obvious to some, but has completely transformed my approach to parenting and self-care. It's funny how we can think we're doing well, when in reality, we're just tiptoeing on the surface.

For years, I believed I was good at balancing my needs with my children's. I'd go out with friends, take some child-free time, and pat myself on the back. But this was nothing more than a sticking plaster covering years of self-neglect. If I'm honest, I think I had deeply buried the belief that I wasn't truly worthy of prioritising myself.

My journey began with small, intentional steps. I started journaling, working on healing parts of my past I needed to acknowledge and began practicing daily mindfulness and breathwork. These weren't grand gestures, but gentle commitments to myself. Some days, it was just 2 minutes of breathing. Other days, I'd manage a full meditation or write pages in my journal. The inconsistency didn't matter – what mattered was showing up for myself, however imperfectly.

My outlook has fundamentally changed. How can I possibly fill my family's cup if my own remains empty? How can I teach my children to prioritise their mental wellbeing if I'm not modelling what that looks like in a healthy, authentic way?

Since introducing these practices, I've noticed a remarkable shift in our household's energy. And let's be real: I'm not doing these practices perfectly every single day. Mum life doesn't allow for perfection, and that's absolutely fine.

Take bedtime, for example. It used to be a battleground. Those arguments that would stretch three or four hours, filling me with dread the moment dinner was served – they've transformed. Yes, there are still the odd raised voices, frustration, and challenges. The tantrums haven't magically disappeared, and the delay tactics (currently featuring multiple pajama changes) are still very much alive.

But something fundamental has changed: my capacity to respond.

I now have the emotional bandwidth to check myself, to recognise when we're all just tired, and to approach challenging moments with more grace and understanding. Where I might have escalated a situation before, I can now roll with it, pick my battles, and maintain a sense of calm. It's not about being a perfect parent, but about being a present, self-aware one.

This journey of self-work isn't as scary as it might seem. If you're unsure where to start, try this simple practice: Take a moment. Take a deep breath. Feel where you're holding tension and consciously release it. Then, write down five to ten things you're grateful for today. No right or wrong answers – just pure, honest reflection.

What I've learned is that caring for myself isn't selfish – it's necessary. It's the foundation that allows me to be the mother, partner, and person I want to be. Each small step is an investment not just in myself, but in my entire family's wellbeing.

The most surprising outcome? The connection with my children has deepened. They sense the change – not through words, but through my energy, my presence, my ability to listen and respond rather than react. They're learning, without me explicitly teaching, what self-care and emotional intelligence look like.

I'd love to hear from you – what small acts of self-care have made a difference in your life? How do you navigate the beautiful chaos of family life?

If this resonates with you come and join me at The Connected Mothers Journey